With most of us not attending funerals very often, we can be unsure of the proper etiquette. One aspect of this is if we should bring anything to the funeral. And if we should bring something, what exactly should that something be? What you bring to the funeral will depend on your role as well as your relationship to the deceased. Directors of funeral homes in Oakfield, NY explain more. 

If You Are Family 

Family members will tend to provide different items for the funeral. If you are family you may be asked to help provide things such as funeral programs, photographs, memorial cards or a guest book. 

• Funeral programs – Funeral programs are a pamphlet that is given to guests and lists the order of services as well as other content such as the obituary and any acknowledgments the family would like to give. As a family member, you may be asked to design these, have them printed and/or bring them to the service. 
• Photographs and other mementos – Many families create a tribute table to display photographs as well as personal mementos of the deceased. Family members may be asked to bring something that can be included. 
• Memorial cards – These cards act as a funeral favor and are given to guests. They typically include a photo of the deceased as well as their birth date, date of passing and a prayer or poem. Like the funeral programs, you may be asked to design, print, and/or bring these for the service.  
• Guest book – You may be asked to bring the guest book. This is often placed in an area where guests can write in it as they arrive and enter the room. Guests will write their name and sometime as short message to the family. 

If You Are a Guest 

Typically as a guest, unless otherwise noted by the family, you do not need to bring anything. If you want to offer the grieving family flowers or a sympathy card, that should be done in the days ahead and sent directly to them. If you were not able to send anything prior, it is perfectly appropriate to send flowers or another expression of sympathy in the days immediately after the funeral. These things should not be given at the actual funeral service. 

What Not to Bring 

As a guest it is more important what you don’t bring to a funeral. Some of these things include: 

• Food or drink – Eat before you attend the funeral, not during. 
• Anything loud or disruptive – Make sure cell phones are silenced and any other alarms or alerts you have on any other electronics are also turned off or silenced 
• Young children – Young children who cannot sit still or may disrupt the service should be left at home with family or a babysitter 

In Conclusion 

Unless you are family, you do not need to take anything with you to services in funeral homes in Oakfield, NY. If you do wish to offer the family a small gift, donation, or flowers, those should all be given either the days before the funeral or the days immediately after, not at the services. The only thing the family is asking of you the day of the funeral is your presence.