If you have had a close friend or family member pass away, and arrangements have been made with funeral homes in Elba, NY., you may shortly be attending their graveside burial service. Along with feelings of loss and sadness, you may also feel anxiety if you have not had to attend a burial before. You may be nervous about what exactly happens and what, if anything, you are supposed to do. Don’t worry, we are going to ease a little of your anxiety by covering everything you need to know.

When is the Graveside Service?

Typically, with traditional funerals, the graveside service and burial take place directly after the funeral services. In this instance, after the funeral service, the funeral procession will drive from the location the service was held to the cemetery.

Not all graveside burials happen after funeral services. These events can be a stand-alone event or also take place before a memorial service.

How Do I Know If I Should Attend?

Some families may choose to restrict the graveside services to immediate family only. Other families may open it to the public, and still other families may choose something in between and invite family and close friends.

If the family wishes for it to be public, at the end of the funeral services, the officiant will invite guests to the graveside service and share directions to the cemetery.

Where Do I Sit or Stand at the Cemetery?

It’s always an awkward feeling when you are not quite sure where you should sit or stand. This can be especially true at a burial as you want to show the upmost respect for the family. A good rule of thumb is that if there are chars, wait to see if any are available before sitting down. These chairs are typically reserved for immediate family and anyone who may need a chair such as the elderly.

If there are still chairs available after everyone has been seated, you can most likely take a seat. If not, standing behind the chairs or where other guests are standing is fine.

Will I Need to Participate?

Depending on the deceased’s faith there may be times where the guests participate in the service. One example of this is with the shoveling of dirt. This is often found in the Jewish religion and you will see the family and then the guests approach a pile of dirt next to the grave and, using a shovel, scoop some dirt into the grave. This will continue until all the guests have had a turn. If you want to join in but still feel a little nervous, just watch what the people in front of you do and mimic their actions.

Other times when there might be participation is if the officiant of the service recites any call-and-response prayers. These normally require the guests to repeat or recite things as a group as part of the prayer. If you feel comfortable, feel free to join in. The same goes when it comes to any songs that are being sung by the guests as a group.

How Long is the Service?

Typically the graveside service is not very long. It normally consists of the officiant beginning the service with reciting prayers or reading a passage. Then a eulogy may be given and finally the body will be lowered into the ground.



After arrangements have been made with funeral homes in Elba, NY., for your loved one, attending the services are important to begin the healing process-try our grief and healing support. Don’t let the anxiety of not knowing what to expect stop you from attending these important events, join the news and events to keep updated.